Love And Care
by destiellove25
Summary: Set after the ending of 8x21. Castiel's vessel is tearing apart, so he ends up taking over Dean's body until he can fix it. This ends up changing their relationship, after Castiel sees all the feelings Dean has for him.


Dean pushed the breaks hard, making the Impala stop with a loud noise of wheels. He had been paying attention to the road, he was sure of that, even if he had been talking to Sam too. The body that was laying on the middle of the street had just appeared there out of nowhere. Dean knew many beings could teleport, but now that he was so close, he could finally recognize the man, and he felt a knot forming in his stomach.

He got out of the car and stared at his angel friend. "Cas?!" he said, confusion and worry ringing clear in his voice.

"A little help here, please?" Castiel's replay came.

There was blood on his face, blood on his coat, he didn't even seem able to get up, but the angel still found the power to be ironic. Dean loved that about him. He crossed the distance between them fast and knelt down to get a good grip of him. Castiel instantly wrapped one of his arms around Dean's head, moaning a bit in pain as he was getting up in his feet. Dean had missed him. God only knew how much. And he wanted to tell him that, but he never would. He looked at Sam for a moment, who looked to be just as concerned as him, and pointed him to the car with his eyes.

"Get in. You'll be driving. I'll stay in the back with him." Sam simply nodded and did as he was told. "Come on, Cas... What the Hell happened to you?"

Castiel didn't answer. Dean didn't knew if it was because the angel was too hurt or because he didn't wanted to talk about it. He decided it didn't matter though, focusing just on getting him to the Impala. He could have just lifted him up and carried him, but he knew Castiel well enough to realize that would not have been appreciated. Just as him, Castiel was one of those persons who hated looking weak.

"I'm fine..." Castiel stated, when Dean tried to help him get inside.

Dean rolled his eyes, but left the angel get in on his own. Sometimes Castiel remained him a lot of himself. He wasn't sure if he liked that or not. As soon as he was inside too and the door was closed, Sam started driving.

"How bad is it? Let me see." he requested, on a demanding tone that sounded more like an order.

Castiel pushed his trench coat away, unbuttoning his shirt to show him the wound, that kept bleeding painfully. Dean got a bit closer to him, trying to see something. It was dark, their only source of light was the night sky, but it was still easy to realize what kind of injury Castiel was suffering from.

"A bullet?" Dean asked confused.

"Crowley... He melted an angel blade... Turned it to bullets..." Castiel explained.

"That bastard..." Dean said, shaking his head slowly in disbelief.

"We would have never thought of that." Sam admitted, keeping his eyes on the road. "You gotta give it to him, Crowley is a smart bastard."

"And now he has the angel tablet..." Castiel informed them.

"What?!" both brothers yelled.

Castiel closed his eyes, taking a hard breath. He felt as if he had been hit by 10 cars in full speed, but there was nothing more painful than the thought that he had disappointed the Winchesters again. Especially Dean. But he had to tell them. They would have eventually found out anyway. They always did.

"I had hid it. Inside my vessel..." He said. "Crowley pulled it out... And took it."

Sam turned to look at him in shock. "How is that even possible?"

"Don't ask... I just-"

Blood started pouring out of his mouth before he could finish his sentence. Dean took hold of his arm right away, scared and unsure of what to do. "Cas! What's going on?"

"The vessel... It is tearing apart... I..." He took a breath. "I need to get out of it... I can fix it but... Not while I'm inside..."

"What does that mean? Where will you go?"

Castiel stared at him for a moment, and Dean looked at him back. He didn't understood what was going on and he wanted to know. But before he could ask anything else, Castiel's both hands were on his face, holding his head.

"I'm sorry, Dean..."

"Sorry for what? Oh... Oh no! Cas, don't!" Dean said fast, when he understood what Castiel wanted to do.

But it was too late. Castiel's eyes started shinning and the whole car was drown in a bright light for a few seconds, while Dean felt as if something had grabbed hold of him and pushed him somewhere far, somewhere dark...

"What the hell was that?" Sam asked angrily, trying to retake control of the car. He had lost his focus when the light blinded him.

Castiel looked at Dean's hand, his new hand, moving his fingers slowly, before staring at the body of Jimmy Novak, his former vessel, that was laying breathless next to him. "Wow... This is sure... strange."

"My God..." Sam said, looking in the rearview mirror at Castiel, who was now possessing his brother. "Dean will be so pissed..."

Castiel sighed. "I know... But there was nothing else I could have done. I needed a new vessel fast." He moved a bit uncomfortably in the seat. "He is struggling a lot... He's already pissed." He giggled lovingly. Dean was putting on a fight even when he could obviously not win. That had always been Dean. "As soon as I repair my vessel I will get out of him..."

"Can you like... See inside his head now? Hear his thoughts?" Sam asked, curiously.

"Of course I can... I am trying hard not to though. I do not want to invade his privacy."

"You kind of already invaded him, dude, you're inside his body!"

Castiel left his head down. It was true. He had never planned on this. It was just a last moment solution. He knew Dean was going to explode as soon as he was back in his body again, but in that moment, he wasn't able to care about that. No matter how much he wanted to not look at Dean's thoughts and feelings, he couldn't help it. Especially since he saw for the first time all the thoughts and feelings Dean had for him... It was true that the two of them had always shared a special bound, but Castiel had always been certain of the fact that some of the emotions he had for Dean were not shared back. Which is why he had always kept them secret. This... This was such a big news for him. And it was so overwhelming.

He closed his eyes and sank even deeper inside Dean's being. Inside his mind, so close to his soul. He could hear him screaming, telling him over and over to stop this, to get out of his body, but Castiel ignored him. He looked at Dean's memories, at all the times Dean had prayed to him, all the times Dean had thought of him... He could feel Dean longing for him, his desire for him. He could feel the burn of Dean's devotion and love for him. It was so beautiful that he could have cried. 'We feel the same...' Castiel thought, and Dean probably heard him, because he suddenly stopped yelling.

"Cas?" Sam's voice made him open his eyes. "Get out, we're here now. You can walk, right?"

Castiel stared at him, confused for a moment, not yet fully detached of Dean's memories and emotions. "Yeah..." he said, after he fully comprehended what Sam was saying to him. "Yeah, I'm fine."

He took Jimmy's body in his arms, lifting it up slowly and taking it out of the Impala. "Where are we?" he asked Sam.

"This is the Headquarters of The Men of Letters... And, it's been our home for some time now." Sam explained while leading him inside.

The hunter threw Castiel a perplex look. It was so odd to see him using Dean's body. Over the years, Sam had seen other people taking use of his brother's body. Shapeshifters and leviathans had copied Dean's image before, and monsters had manipulated him and changed his behavior and way of thinking. Whenever that happened, Sam had always tried to stop it. Sam had always tried to protect and save Dean just as much as Dean had always tried to keep him safe. It was a brother thing. If anything supernatural messed with any of them, the other had to solve it. This time though, it was different... Castiel was a supernatural being and he was now inside Dean. But Castiel was their friend. He was part of their team, he was one of the good guys. Sam couldn't do what he would have normally done. He couldn't threaten or hurt Castiel to make him released Dean. He couldn't, because this was Cas...

"Sam? Are you with me here?"

"Sorry, what?"

Castiel looked at him uneasy and left out a head breath. "I asked you where could I lay this body down. I need to get to fixing it fast."

"Yes, yes... I was just thinking. Come with me."

"Are you alright, Sam?" Castiel asked, following him closely through the house. "You look worse than before..."

"I am okay, don't worry for me." He hated the fact that everyone seemed to be so concerned.

"Dean worries a lot." Castiel confessed. He looked down for a moment when Sam turned to look at him, raising his eyebrow. "I can't really stop from hearing and feeling some of his thoughts and emotions."

Sam opened the door to his room and stepped out of the way for Castiel to enter. "Just lay him down on the bed..." The angel hurried to do so, while Sam was closing the door behind them. "Is he still in there? Jimmy, I mean..."

"No. This body has been ripped apart and rebuilt one too many times. Jimmy's soul is long since gone... He's in Heaven now. He's happy. Well... As happy as anyone can be up there now."

Sam smiled sadly, looking at Castiel's vessel. He had not known Jimmy Novak that well, but he had known him enough to feel sorry for his death. That man had given up on everything for Castiel. His family, his body, and eventually, his life too. Castiel had once stated that Jimmy was a devoted man. Sam thought that was a huge understatement.

"I sure hope he is happy... He deserves it."

Castiel nodded silently in agreement. "Help me take off this cloths." he said.

Sam complied, pushing Jimmy's lifeless body in a sitting position and holding him while Castiel was removing his trench coat, suit coat and shirt. "Why did the vessel tear? It was just a bullet..."

"It wasn't the bullet." Castiel explained. "When Crowley pulled out the Angel Tablet from inside me, he damaged the vessel too much... I had hid it there because I didn't thought someone would figure it out. I admit I may have underestimated Crowley. As you have said... He is a smart bastard."

"Can you fix it?"

"Yeah..." He looked at his vessel closely, trying to figure out how bad it really was. "Yeah, I can fix it. It will take some time though... Not too much. I think that by morning it will all be back to normal."

"Great. I'm sorry, but I don't think I can stand seeing you inside Dean's body for much longer. It's way too strange for me." Sam admitted.

"Yeah, I bet... It will be over soon, I promise."

Sam just nodded softly. He took a chair and brought it closer to the bed, sitting on it and waiting. He wasn't feeling well at all. Castiel was right, he was worse than before. And getting worse every day. But he couldn't afford to complain about it. He had taken on this trails for a reason. And they had a purpose. A great purpose. Greater than him, he thought. So no matter how horrible it was going to get, Sam had promised himself that he was going to bare with it. He just hated the fact that no matter how much he was trying to hide his pain, everyone seemed to be able to see it.

"We'll just have to wait now..." Castiel announced, and Sam looked at Jimmy's body confused. "I've made a spell. Now we just have to wait for it to work. You haven't been paying attention, have you?" Sam smiled uncomfortably and moved a bit around in the chair. "Let me guess. You were thinking again, huh?" Castiel asked.

"Yeah..." Sam looked up at him. "It's funny how now that you're inside him, you... You are starting to sound like him. And I am not just talking about his voice."

Castiel giggled. "When you're inside a human vessel, you share his being, so it is normal to borrow a bit of their personality too..." He explained.

There was a small moment of silence, while both of them stared down, as if the floor would have been fascinating them. Truth was, they both just couldn't really bare facing each other. It was painful for Sam to look at Castiel while he was possessing Dean, and it was strange for Castiel to look at Sam through Dean's eyes. He was able to feel Dean's strong emotions for Sam now...

"All this love and care..." he found himself saying out loud. " 'I gotta watch out for Sammy. I wonder if Sammy is alright... Will these trials crush him apart? I can't bare watching this anymore... That should have been me, not him...'"

Sam looked at him for a small second before turning his gaze back down. "Stop it..."

"I doubt any of my brothers ever felt something so powerful for me..." Castiel pointed out, his eyes fixed in an empty spot. "I doubt they ever felt something so powerful for anything at all, actually. I think this is what makes you humans special..."

Sam raised his eyebrows. "Our care?"

"Yes. Your love and care..." Castiel smiled. "It's ironic... God created love, but all the angels have forgotten that feeling. We've all lost our feelings. Now it's all about fighting, it's all just blood and pain and chaos. The angels can't win, because they've already lost. But you... Humans. You are the only beings who still feel these beautiful emotions. That's what makes you special. That's what makes you beautiful... And what makes you powerful."

The hunter stared at his angel friend amazed while he spoke, and was left speechless for a few seconds after he was done. He then left out an amused giggle. "Wow, Cas. Who'd have known that a short trip inside Dean's body would make you so sentimental?"

"My interest and attraction towards humanity has always pissed of Heaven. And the truth is, I never really understand why I cared so much. But now that I am inside him..." he slowly touched his chest, gripping onto the soft material of Dean's shirt, as if he was trying to touch Dean. "I finally understand. What makes humans special... What makes Dean special..."

Sam didn't knew what he could say to that. He wasn't really used to Castiel having moments like these, so he just decided he should probably remain silent.

"Tell me, Sam... Does Dean ever speak about me?" Castiel asked all of a sudden, making the human stare at him once more.

"Uhm, yeah, I suppose." He passed his fingers through his hair, kicking it away from his face. "We talk about you a lot, I mean... You're our friend."

"What does he say about me? To you..." Castiel kept asking, his voice holding a mixture of curiosity and need.

"Well... He's usually pissed off because you never show up. Especially when he keeps calling and you don't answer. Dean is not the kind of man who will just tell you how he feels, but... He cares for you a lot. He worries for you a lot. And, to be honest, I think he really needs you a lot." He laughed sadly. "I sometimes think he needs you even more than he needs me..."

Castiel smiled, and nodded softly. "Thank you, Sam... For telling me that."

"Don't mention it... And especially not to Dean. He'll say we had a chick flick moment and he'll be upset we involved him in it too."

They both looked at each other for a moment and then laughed. Castiel knew that Sam was not going to forget all that he had said to him, but he also knew they were probably never going to speak about it again. That was how both Sam and Dean worked. Even if they were touched or impressed by something, they both tended not to speak of 'sentimental things'. Even if they had all these beautiful, powerful feelings and thoughts, they chose to keep them for themselves, to act as if they didn't had them. But he was going to talk to Dean about the feelings he now knew he had for him, even if Dean was going to try to deny them.


End file.
